Headcanon: First Change
"We can’t do this. There must be another way."
"Sweetheart, I know…But he’s safe in there—"
"He’s just a boy, John! He’s just a little boy."
Even from the small basement underneath the house, the voices of Mr. and Mrs. Lupin echoed through the thinness of the walls. Besides that, there was the soft sound of electricity coming from the one, worn out bulb on the ceiling, flickering light in the darkness. It smelled of dust and humidity. Remus was cold, as there was no heater in the basement, and he had not been allowed to wear shoes or socks. His mother was afraid he would tear them apart. Remus supposed that was the same reason to why his parents could not be in the room with him. They were afraid to be torn apart. That was what werewolves did…they tore things apart. Or at least, that’s what Remus had read.
It started just as the doctor had said. At first, Remus found it difficult to breath and then he lost the ability entirely.
"Remus, you must be strong, alright? For me…For your mother."
He cried nonetheless, even as he tried to be strong. He tried, but it hurt too much. The fragile, small bones of his hands were the first to change. His feet, his jaw, his ribs followed respectively. Once his spine snapped, Remus voice had left him, barely able to scream any longer.
"The first transformation is the worst. As the years pass, it’ll get better for him…"
The pain stopped. For a moment. It had gone black, and figures appeared in the dark. Remus could only guess his pupils had dangerously dilated. Nails had grown into claws. His mouth was now a snout. His screams were now high pitched growls.
It hurt. It bloody hurt. But mostly…Remus was scared. His hands, his legs, his whole body…they were no longer his. He had lost control. It was like an infection, conquering every corner of his mind.
Stop. Stop it. I need to get out. Mum…Mum! I need to get out. Where am I? Mum? Dad…Stop. Get out. Let me go. Let me go…Stop it. Stop.
Images. Walls. The beast was confined. It slammed itself against the walls, its claws digging themselves to the floor until they bled. It screeched. It howled. From pain. From fear.
It went silent.
Light broke the next morning through the opening of the old curtains. A hand caressed his forehead, pushing his bangs back. “Remus…How are you feeling?”
"Mum?" Remus’ eyes fluttered open, "I…I don’t want to do that again."
Mrs. Lupin began to cry. Tears falling on Remus’ little hands. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”
Remus Lupin had to transform alone thirty two times before going to Hogwarts and meeting James Potter and Sirius Black.
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- the-devil-called-rodolphus said: REMUS!!!! D: I’m here for you. Marlene is here for you. Everyone is here for you!!!
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